The Void
It has been six months since I quit my job.
I wanted to do things I had never had time for. So, I started painting and sketching and attended many online workshops to improve my skills. I also had the idea of starting my own business and rushed into the process of it.
And ended up having a rollercoaster of emotions.
Within a month, past trauma and stress started to play their role. Soon, I fell into this deep void. I had no energy. My thoughts became numb and distressed. Fear lurked around the corner of my existence. I hated to do things I loved to do.
I cried all day and night, so silent that no one would hear me crying. My eyes were constantly swollen. I wasn't glowing like I used to. I hated to look at myself in the mirror.
Two months into this, I started to apply for a job again. This time, my anxiety peaked as I was called for an interview. I stuttered with my words to the interviewer and came up with lame excuses to not attend it.
Yet, I was accepted into some offices but ignored them. I did go about a job offer. But, couldn't stay there for even a day felt like running away from there.
My void grew big and dark. Fear took over my existence throughout the winter. I shut myself inside my house and avoided going out to meet people.